Hello everyone! Thanks for visiting my website. Im here to tell u whatever that pops up in my mind, I will post it in here. And today im going to tell u about Developing Your Assertiveness 1.
Do u struggle to communicate with others?
Im here to tell u how to Develop Your Assertiveness.
Chapter 1 : To be, or not to be?
Conditioning
When u first entered this world, and until you were about six months old, u knew and demonstrated two forms of behaviour : Passive, Dependant Behaviour and Aggressive, Demanding Behaviour. As you grow older, one of the first words u will have learned and uttered is 'No'. This is a way of saying, 'I can now begin to rationalise, to make my own decisions.' It is a way of saying, 'I can now beginning to establish independence as a unique individual.
For toddlers, being passive sometimes, aggressive at others, freely expressing feelings, and saying 'No' without guilt or malice, is spontaneous and natural. Were u reprimanded for saying 'No' as a small child? Were you told it was not polite....might hurt others' feelings...make u unpopular? Might this have a bearing on why you might find it difficult to utter the 'No' word today?
In our early development we were conditioned by people and events, and soon adapted to please parents or other adults responsible for our social training. We were told what was good and what was bad; what to do and what not to do. It is often in a child's best interests to please or submit - good behaviour is rewarded with smiles and favours. Sometimes bad behaviour gets its rewards as well - thinks..... 'If I can't get her attention any other way,I'll scream, yell and throw things; any attention - even a telling off - is better than being ignored'.You can see how the passive/aggressive pattern builds and how as adults slide into adapted behaviour to achieve our own ends , to keep the peace or to meet the needs of others - often to the detriment of our own well-being.
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